waiting, waiting

Friday, April 4, 2014

Dear Olive,
Tomorrow, I'll be 39 weeks pregnant; the house is spotless, curtains have been sewn, pictures have been hung. Baby clothes are washed and folded, there are unopened packets of newborn nappies in the garage, and a few cooked meals in the freezer. We even finished watching the final series of breaking bad last night.  I've nested about as much as I want to, and now, along with being immensely tired, the waiting has begun. I pretty much feel like just staying in until this baby comes out - which is altogether impossible with you around, needing so much more out of each day than I do. Rather ironically, just as I am hitting my least energetic phase, your energy levels are all of a sudden boundless, and there is no way of wearing you out anymore. Even more than your intense level of physical energy, it's the mental energy that wears me down the most. It's a constant barrage of ideas/questions/negotiations/creating/songs/stream of consciousness type conversations firing out at me all day long.  Even when you're playing alone, it's conducted out loud. As tiring as it all is, we're figuring it out. And I actually feel quite content in the waiting.* Perhaps I'm not yet ready for this baby. In any case, I surrender to my body to know when it's time.
PS I was at the birth centre having an appointment this morning when an amazing Mum was wheeled in on an ambulance stretcher; she was beaming, and holding her brand new, born at home in an hour baby. (After having a cesarean for her first baby.) What a woman!
*So far. I am well aware this may change extremely quickly after 40 weeks!



12 comments:

Elisa {With Grace and Eve} said...

What a woman alright! That's amazing - just hearing that last bit gave me goosebumps in a good way! Our bodies are so amazing!! I think surrendering is the most we can do when waiting for bubs. It's so very different the second time around. Thinking of you xxxx

Nell said...

So close now! I am feeling so tired. Managing to sleep soundly until about 3am then I'm awake and can't fall back to sleep. So annoying. You sound so much more organised than me...I have two weeks to catch up (37 weeks on Sunday) Hope you find some time to rest, lots of love xx

Joanna said...

oh, this sounds so familiar! Thinking of you Kellie... hope you are able to just enjoy the time as a family of three (and the clean house!!) before bubs arrives. And yes, having waited an almost two extra weeks after our due date, I've learnt that those little beings will come when they're good and ready and there's not a lot we can do about it but just let them do their thing! Wishing you much rest... xx Jo

Alex Sunday said...

both my girls were considerate enough to arrive a few days early (and fast - 2hrs and 1 hr!). reading about your pregnancy makes me want another one. (spending my days with a 1 year old & a 3 year old DOES NOT make me want another one!!). thinking of you. xo

Jodi said...

Oh Kel,

Just savour it...because it will change in a few days, there's no doubt about that.

There's a fantastic article I've read online about the space between pregnancy and birth....the only language that has a dedicated word for it is German....it basically means "in-between" ... it sounds like you're there, that soft, vulnerable, transparent, sensitive space between carrying your baby and birthing your baby. You're on the way xxx

Col | Hello Olive said...

Good luck! My no.2 arrived at around 39 weeks, nearly a year ago. Where has the time gone?! x

Lila Wolff said...

hope this beautiful time leads to a beautiful birth.

Dre @ no frills mum said...

Such an exciting time Kellie! I remember it well with my girls who both, frustratingly at the time, went two weeks over their due dates. Rest up and enjoy the precious days with Olive before your family becomes four and best of luck for the safe arrival of bubs! x Dre

little earth stories said...

Those last weeks with a busy small person are exhausting! Sending you beautiful birthing energy. What an exciting time! Big hugs xx

Birds&Words said...

Oh, Jodi's words are so beautifully put. Having had my first birthing experience 10 months ago now, I can still remember the vulnerability of it all. However I imagine second time around it may feel less like this, and maybe even, dare I say it, enjoyable!
Good luck Kellie. I love reading your blog xx

KleineDrukteMaker said...

Thinking of you... Wishing you this birth will go as smooth as possible... Baby boy also due anytime now, and just like you, I am just waiting, and my sweet Maggie is getting filled with energy while my energy is running out...
Sending you lots of love x

ashley said...

oh that wait. i remember the 2 full weeks over with poppy i spent waddling the beach. one day i just woke up and thought, i will never have this beautiful baby in my belly again. after i made peace it was all...peaceful. x ashley

 

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